› tag : Stupid

Go planet, it’s your birthday.

Posted by majc in Tao on Aug 21st 2010 No Comments »

Christmas is totally just, like, so 0-2009 AD and stuff. If geologists would work out when Birth of Earth Day should be, we wouldn’t have to only come together on rival holidays, celebrating Jesus’ birthday or Mohammed’s Barmitzvah. Earth

Instead, we could all have an FDA approved, Certified Organic™ and geotechnically accurate science party, wearing biodegradable, carbon-neutral hats made by robots from underprivileged villages in Africa, to celebrate the formation of everyone’s favourite space-boulder.

Whether you’re a wishful thinking Christian, a homicidal Muslim or a big nosed, money-grabbing… er, Buddhist, surely all we banana munching homosapiens can agree that the Earth’s coming into existence, however the fuck it happened, is worth commemorating. And if the exact day is impossible to calculate, then lets just say it was in the middle of the northern hemisphere’s Summer so that the weather is nice has a chance of being nice in England.

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80% of poker players probably rate themselves in the top 20%. For readers who are, shall we say, mathematically challenged, 80 is much bigger than 20 which means many of us are wrong.

But not all of us. In fact, some people – for example, me – are so inordinately amazing that we have to periodically deploy stupid techniques on purpose just to keep a low profile: to escape the elaborate super-stardom that’s hard to avoid when you’re this damn good at the game.

Golden Opportunity

Of course, as with many things in life, the finest Bad Poker practitioners don’t need to think twice. Their Accidental Generosity™ is spontaneous, a gift of natural selection. And yet, still people ask me the question all the time (at least once a decade) “how does one attain the ineffable wisdom and status of the Bad Poker guru?”

I will tell you. Something. And that something is that there are numerous completely unteachable talents required to achieve the greatest heights of charitable poker playing. If you’re gonna force me to pick a standout quality though, I think the most important is undoubtedly a well developed, almost superhuman ability to interpret bad decisions as good ones.

A bulletproof 400% confidence that it’s always someone else’s fault is vital. »

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